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My coming of age story.
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Why I'm Mad Today:
Death is ruthless.

Why I don't care:
Sometimes you do get the choice.

It's fun to hate:
Everyone... Kind of gets you stoked up for it.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
Kervorkian will not be the "doctor of death". He will be more the "doctor of people who would rather die than go through the pain."

Music lost to history:
Alice Cooper:
Roses on White Lace

Alice Cooper is basically what Marilyn Manson has become. He sang about really taboo subjects at a time when taboo actually was taboo. This particular tune is one that I began listening to after being dumped by the girl that I was supposed to marry back in the early nineties. It is actually one of three songs that play back to back on most albums. Those three songs are, if memory serves, "chop, chop, chop", "Gail" and "Roses on White Lace". I never really appreciated the other two quite as much as this one, but then I have never hacked anyone to death, so check back later...

This song stands alone as being pretty cool just because it states the anger that I was having at the time (back in the '90s). At the same time, it illustrates that Marilyn Manson is following the course of another very successful rocker. While Cooper's songs were not earth-shaking, they were provocative. That single fact is what has led to Manson's success. I have never heard or read Marilyn Manson say that Alice Cooper was an actual influence on his music, but here is an example of it from twenty years ago.


Obligatory Linkage:
BlackChampagne.com-
Without his site, my site would never have existed.

Yeti Sports-
A cute little game that I was turned onto by the BlackChampagne post. Quite addictive little sports, these. As long as you don't mind seeing mythical beasts whacking penguins with everything from clubs to flamingos.


If you click through the picture above it will take you to a page where you can see how to donate to my little cause.

It is Friday, August 13, 2004

Well as my legion of fan (no those weren't supposed to be plural) might have noticed, I did take a couple of days off from typing this page up. No reason why really. I didn't feel like typing, no one ever reads it anyway, kind of like farting in the wind... there is just no payoff. Though I have no plans to close down the site, as It is very theraputic for me to write something down that is annoying me, I don't think I am likely to try to keep making a new post every day. I am not going to set to stone a schedule whereby I will make new posts, as that loses the point of bitching about stuff that is irritating me, what I will do is say that I am likely only going to have, at most, five posts a week. The days that they might occur are going to be a surprise even to me, so I guess it will actually be 100% true that I am typing this for my own benefit from this point forward.


Something that I want to mention today, as it may be too late tomorrow, is a brief conversation that I had with a regular customer where I work.

The man's name is George, I consider him a friend even though I do not know him all that well. We have been talking, at length, about all sorts of weird shit ever since I started working at the store. He is quite a friendly, helpful man, but he has a lot of medical problems. I have visited his home several times, even knocked back a cocktail or two while there, and I suppose that, by definition, that would make us friends, though had that never have happened I would still think of him as a friend.

George loaned me his little truck (chevy s10? maybe) a few times to do errands that needed doing. Much like with the local "cat lady", his only reward was for me to sit with him in his home and talk. Mind you, he is a bit of an Audiophile, and that took a bit away from my apprehensions about visiting his home. The guy has every album you could ever think of on vinyl, 8-track, cassette and CD. There is no place in his house that you can stand without hearing the song that is playing coming from multiple speakers, and sounding totally awesome. That being said, his audio system cost probably in excess of $20,000 U.S. dollars. That system is also installed in a house that likely cost him a lot less than that when he bought it twenty-five years ago. I don't know why audio is his passion, but it is.


I really started trying to fuck with him with the stuff that I brought over (cd's I mean). As far as the retail cd's go, he could tell me every time that they were a retail cd, while he could tell me every time that one was an mp3. I don't know how he knew, but he did. Just for fun, I brought over an old garage recording that I had made back when I was in a band. He instantly knew that it was not only a "garage effort", but a very poor one at that. Being pissed off at that point, I ripped "Metallica's" song "one" to mp3 to see if he could hear the difference between the two. What really shocked me was that, on his system, I could tell the difference between the two. I think that the studio recordings have a lot more sound on them than you can hear on your average, cheap-ass media player. If nothing else, George proved that point to me.

This guy, George, has had a lot of shit happen to him over his life. Possibly the worst thing (at least in my mind) was the Phimosis.

The thing about "phimosis" is that if you are circumcised you never have to fear it. If, however, you are not circumcised, it will be a constant threat to the penis. George had the phimosis problem as a child, but it was never discovered. By the time he was in his late 30's/early 40's, he had to have his penis amputated as it was so covered in virus that it could not be saved. I suppose I should note that phimosis, in and of itself, is not life-threatening. When, however, it is let to stay on a body for thirty years, infections can occur. The phimosis kept him from being able to clear up some, I can't remember the story all that clearly, but it was genital warts, I think. Without the ability for the glans of the penis to be free of disease, the infection spread into his testicles. He had, at that point, two options; 1) Die. 2) Amputate your penis and testicles.

But wait, it gets worse. The guy then had a couple of strokes, which have left his back and legs in constant pain, the kind of pain that even the best drugs can not sate. He said to me today that, "If you (that being me) could take away the pain, I would be forever in your debt." After that, it got spooky.

George said to me, and I will quote, "You are a very kind and loving man. Not just a man, but a kind and loving human being. When they find me tomorrow, please make sure that the note on my chest still says 'too much pain'."

He did go on to say that he figured his children would simply bury him in the back yard so that they would be able to continue collecting his disability and retirement checks from where he worked. So is that human nature? If it is I want right the hell out of this "race".

Perhaps the most disturbing part of this whole story is that I will likely be the first person to enter his home after he dies. I really don't think that he was joking today, I think this might be it for him. I don't know what I could do to stop him from it: he already has every drug in the hospital in his system.

Here's to hoping that George wakes up again tomorrow.



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