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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan: "No Fat Chicks". This is a shirt that you see frequently, what makes it funny is the context. The guy wearing it was about 5'10" and maybe a shade under 400lbs. Does he really have standards, or was that the only shirt they had in his size?
It's fun to hate:
When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
Music lost to history: Alice Cooper: Roses on White Lace
Alice Cooper is basically what Marilyn Manson has become. He sang about really taboo subjects at a time
when taboo actually was taboo. This particular tune is one that I began listening to after being dumped by the girl that I was supposed to marry
back in the early nineties. It is actually one of three songs that play back to back on most albums. Those three songs are, if memory serves,
"chop, chop, chop", "Gail" and "Roses on White Lace". I never really appreciated the other two quite as much as this one, but then I have
never hacked anyone to death, so check back later... This song stands alone as being pretty cool just because it states the anger that I was having at the time (back in the '90s). At the same time, it illustrates that Marilyn Manson is following the course of another very successful rocker. While Cooper's songs were not earth-shaking, they were provocative. That single fact is what has led to Manson's success. I have never heard or read Marilyn Manson say that Alice Cooper was an actual influence on his music, but here is an example of it from twenty years ago. Is It Porn? The last entry, Was.com was not porn. Now for a tough one. Breast.com. What do you think, is it porn? No, it is not porn.
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Just a quick note to mention that today marks the one year anniversary of my little bitch site. Happy Birthday to me!
•My wife and I wanted to go to see a movie today, we still had one free guest pass and it expires at the end of January. The movie that we wanted to go see was
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, which is currently only at
69% positive at rottentomatoes.com. Not that we really cared what the critics thought of it, we both
wanted to see it regardless. Unfortunately, due to arriving at the theatre only fifteen minutes early, and an enormously long line, the show sold out before we were able to get
tickets. That is where things started to spiral out of control. Let this be a lesson to all of us that we should buy the tickets online and pick them up inside the theatre, it would have saved
us fifteen minutes -thus getting us into the movie we were hoping to see (which wasn't an option for us anyway, since we had a free pass we had to go to the ticket window).
I did have a plan b, which sucked as it turns out. I had seen a trailer for Sideways recently and it looked pretty good. Not to mention that
it won 2 Golden Globes and is nominated for 5 Academy Awards. All of that and it is currently at 96% positive at rottentomatoes.com. It also had a showing
at the theatre we went to at the same time as the movie that we wanted to see, it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
This is the first movie, that I have seen recently, that the critics at rotten tomatoes got this wrong. Sideways is quite possibly the worst piece of cinematic shit that has ever hit the big screen. No, I am not exaggerating.
Movies of this caliber are rarely ever made, and the few that are are always direct to video. This level of trash has probably never been seen on a big screen. This film makes
Amazon Women on the Moon (which I loved, BTW) look like cinematic gold, and believe me it would take a real stinker to do that. Unlike Amzon Women on the Moon, Sideways won't even attract a cult following; It is simply too
horrible, in too many ways -yet, not in a campy or funny manner. Simply put, Shit is the best single word that could be used to describe it. To use more than one word; the Shit the day after binge drinking and a lot of Mexican food.
There is a possibility that my
I hesitate to call it a drama since that would imply a plot, something that was very sparse in this flick. As a matter of fact, the official trailer shows the entire plot of the movie in about thirty seconds, yet the movie is over two hours long!
Two very long hours of mostly stunned silence, with an occasional laugh that is mostly forced since you had to pay for the ticket. I would highly recommend the trailer for Sideways, but, for the love of
Now for a plot spoiler. Stop reading right now if you plan to watch the movie. Two guys go to Napa Valley a week before one of them is to marry. The groom to be wants to get laid. He does. Then he gets married. The other guy doesn't want to get laid since he still loves his ex-wife. He gets laid. Then is the best man
at the other guy's wedding. His ex-wife is now pregnant with her new husband's child. His book doesn't get published. He knocks on a door. The end. I am sure something else happens; I vaguely remember a game of golf at some point. But that is the plot in a nutshell.
I have been trying to understand the critical acclaim for this film ever since I left the theatre. The only thing that I can come up with is that maybe the first guy that reviewed it gave it glowing
praise, then other reviewers saw it and thought it sucked -yet, they saw the first review and were worried that maybe they just weren't intelligent enough to understand it, so they gave it praise as well.
The problem with that logic is that Sideways is certainly not some high brow humor that only someone with an IQ of 170 can understand, it is just a really lame movie. I suppose it really is like the Channing Pollock quote says, "A critic is a legless man who teaches running."
Which might not even accurately describe it since the critic gets paid to watch the film and then give his/her opinion about it; That would be more like paying Bill Gates to critique Microsoft's performance, there may be a bias there.
I know that I am basically the lone gun here, hell, Ebert practically gave the movie a blow-job. I hated it, my wife hated it, and I might be the only one in the entire world that actually
puts that hatred out there to be seen. This movie sucked! It is not a 'guilty pleasure', it is not a love story, it is not a comedy, it doesn't have an actual plot (most of the time the only thing that holds it all together is the fact that they display
every new day in type, on a black screen, to let you know that the movie is still happening), it is that bad. Critics be damned! I would rather put Tiger Balm on my nuts (again, and a long story of accidental encounter) than to watch this garbage again!
So, by the standard of the critic, I guess that would be 4 out of 5 stars?
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