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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan:
"You Wish!"
This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror).

It's fun to hate:
The Soccer Moms who insist that they drive gas-guzzling SUV's for the safety of their children despite the fact that they are 6 times more likely to be in a rollover accident than any other vehicle. It's like beating your child unconscious with the butt of your gun so that he will remain on the floor, thus making him less likely to be hit by a random bullet coming through the front window.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
There will be mandatory, passive birth control required to participate in any form of government assistance. If you can't afford to raise your child on your own we are here to help you, but we must first make sure that your reproductive organs are adequately contained. If you don't like that policy all you have to do is support your kids your damn self!
Vote Shadowtwin!


Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.
Your Horoscope:


Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground."

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File".

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy:


Cancer: 6/22-7/22
The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky...

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this)

Libra: 9/23-10/22
The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come."

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know.

Music lost to history:

Aerosmith - Dream On When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976.

Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath.

While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean.

I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me.

That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History.

Music Lost to History Archive


I Can't Believe it's Not Porn!
WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it.

Daily Reading:
BlackChampagne
Magazine Man
Shane Nickerson
Wil Wheaton
Boners
Hoyazo's Poker Blog

My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!



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Shadowtwin.com: Even more on Poker



Sunday, May 21, 2006
 

Even more on Poker


I have been playing an occasional sit and go (SNG) games at Poker Stars over the last couple of months. What I have found especially odd is that when playing in real money games the level of play actually seems lower than in the play money games. I am not sure if there are actually people out there who have seen Texas Hold 'Em on T.V. and assume they know how to play, so they just jump right into the real money games or what, but the competition just seems lacking --and that isn't because I am some sort of an expert player.

I have now played in about ten of these tournaments, all at the $10 + $1 table, and have been playing pretty well. Unfortunately my best finish is second place, as evidenced by the image below:

Second place isn't so bad, especially considering the frequency with which I finish in that position. I have become quite proficient at being the best of the losers!

The problem that I really have when it comes to the heads up play is that I just want it to end. The tournament that I was in this morning had been going for nearly an hour and a half by the time we got to heads up play and I really had to piss. I tried to get all in on a pair of kings but the other guy folded. That is what happens in heads up (at least in my experience); you both wait until you have a good hand to start risking your chips, but when the other guy is risking his you know he has a good hand. I suppose it would eventually happen that both players have a decent hand, but I am not willing to sit around for an hour to see.

On a standard 10+1 tournament the prize awards are $45 for first, $27 for second and $18 for third. As long as I finish in second I have more than doubled my money and that is good enough for me, again noting the frequency with which I am able to do it. If I was losing ten tournaments to every one I finish in the money I would probably have a completely different opinion.

Now to the boring, technical rambling.

PokerStars keeps all kinds of stats logged for your viewing pleasure (well, probably not pleasure but they are available if you want to see them). I was looking through my statistics in the last ten tournaments that I played and noticing a trend. In the tournaments that I finished in second place I stayed in to see the flop less than 50% of the time, while in the ones I lost the number was always higher -capped by my only last place finish where I saw an amazing 87% of the flops, including every flop from either blind position. Thankfully that woefully bad play was in the first tournament I ever played and has not been repeated.

The most difficult part of adjusting to playing for real money was training myself to be able to fold from the blinds. For unknown reasons I was putting too much faith in my cards if I was in one of the blinds, most likely since I was already in the pot. It doesn't make any sense though; that off suit 3-9 isn't any better when you already have money on it, in fact it is probably worse. Yet I was somehow able to talk myself into believing that the flop could turn a 9,9,3, which it could, it is just extremely unlikely. The fact that one of the first hands I was ever dealt (in a real money game) was a 10-3 off suit, which I folded only to see 3,3,10 on the flop probably had a bit to do with my unrealistic expectations.

While I still have not read any books or articles on how to play the game I am getting much better at it. I know that I am still seeing entirely too many flops, but I don't know if I will ever be able to break that habit, especially when the blinds are at 10/20. I mean it is only 20 chips to see if I can catch a full house on the flop, might as well take the chance, right? (that is actually 100% wrong if I plan to finish in the money but I can't seem to make myself stick to it.)

The one thing that I am really lacking though is the ability to quickly assess the best possible hand. I thought I was pretty good at that, until the hand that eliminated me from a tournament last week. I had an A K of clubs, the flop brought up 3h, Ad, Kh, so the best possible hand at that point was a three of a kind Aces, I am pretty sure on that one. When the turn brought up the Ace of hearts that gave me a full house with Aces over Kings, the best possible hand. I bet big and got called by one guy, I assumed he had a pair of Kings or he would have folded. The river brought up a 3 of clubs, so there was no chance for a flush or a straight. I bet small and he called me all in, I took that action with 100% confidence. At this point I absolutely knew that he had a pair of kings and was betting on his full house Kings over Aces, which I was going to absolutely smash with my Aces, or, worst case scenario, he also had A K in which case we would split the pot. I was simply dumbfounded when his cards showed a pair of threes, thus giving him a four of a kind. I was so preoccupied with the aces and kings that the thought never occurred to me that the guy would still be in it on threes. The guy did get extremely lucky to get that three on the river for sure, but I didn't even recognize that there was a hand that could beat me.

That is what I need to get better at. I don't really mind losing, although I obviously would prefer to win. There have now been two occasions where I was dead sure that I had a hand won only to be beaten by a hand that I had never considered. Once I am able to at least recognize those possible hands in the limited time I have to act I will be a much better player. Maybe then I will start finishing in first instead of second.

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