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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan:
"You Wish!"
This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror).

It's fun to hate:
The Soccer Moms who insist that they drive gas-guzzling SUV's for the safety of their children despite the fact that they are 6 times more likely to be in a rollover accident than any other vehicle. It's like beating your child unconscious with the butt of your gun so that he will remain on the floor, thus making him less likely to be hit by a random bullet coming through the front window.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
There will be mandatory, passive birth control required to participate in any form of government assistance. If you can't afford to raise your child on your own we are here to help you, but we must first make sure that your reproductive organs are adequately contained. If you don't like that policy all you have to do is support your kids your damn self!
Vote Shadowtwin!


Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.
Your Horoscope:


Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground."

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File".

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy:


Cancer: 6/22-7/22
The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky...

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this)

Libra: 9/23-10/22
The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come."

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know.

Music lost to history:

Aerosmith - Dream On When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976.

Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath.

While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean.

I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me.

That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History.

Music Lost to History Archive


I Can't Believe it's Not Porn!
WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it.

Daily Reading:
BlackChampagne
Magazine Man
Shane Nickerson
Wil Wheaton
Boners
Hoyazo's Poker Blog

My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!



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Shadowtwin.com: Another Final Table at the WWDN



Wednesday, June 21, 2006
 

Another Final Table at the WWDN

As the name would imply, I made the final table at the WWDN last night. It was an uphill battle for sure, since my starting table had Smokkee, Hoyazo, Iakaris, and a couple of other people (whose names I can't look up because I just now realized that I was playing with the beta version of pokerstars and it is set by default to not log history. A value that I had neglected to change). At any rate, Smokkee is the one I was really scared of. For some reason Hoyazo doesn't scare me as much as he should -it probably has something to do with that cute little smiling avatar, so harmless...

I almost went out of the tournament extremely early. If you read my site, you may remember that S.t.B. once said that they way I played a good hand almost got me in trouble. Such was the case last night, only I didn't really have a good hand. I was in one of the blinds with a Q-6, and had to call some kind of a raise to see the flop. The flop was Q-6-4 (I think, might have been Q-6-7) Giving me two pair, which really should put me ahead at this point, barring someone else having a pair of Queens. I checked it, then called whatever the bet was to see the turn -what I should have done was pushed right there. I don't remember exactly what the turn card was, I think it might have paired the low card, at any rate, I was still ahead and should have pushed, instead I called the bet to let everyone see the river relatively cheap. The river left two one-card straight possibilities on the board, which, of course, someone had. The someone who made the straight would have likely folded if I would have pushed earlier, and the other guy would probably have called with his pair of kings and I would have won with two pair. Ahh, hindsight. Instead, I was left with a pretty short stack.

I was able to keep from doing anything horribly stupid for a good while after that (at least I think it was, it is probably open to debate though). Sometime later in the tournament, as we were nearing the bubble, I was to the point where I was just hoping that if I was going to bust it was at least going to be on a good hand. I was tied with Kat for the short stack at the table when I found myself with A-J in early position. I raised it 5x the BB (thus proving that I am trying to teach myself to bet pre-flop so that I can try to limit my horrible beatdowns later in the hand), which was folded around to Shane in the Big Blind. He didn't even seem to think about, just pushed. While I have played with most of the other people in the tournament before, I really haven't ever played with Shane. I don't think that he actually knows how tight I play, and as such I thought that he saw my huge raise as a steal attempt. I thought about this one for a long time before I eventually called it. A-J is really not an ideal hand to be putting your tournament life on the line with. This late in the game it is fair to assume that if the reraise was not just to stop me from stealing the pot, it must be either a pocket pair or two faces. In this case, it happened to be a pair of 8's. The flop missed us both, but the turn paired my Jack. Then the river gave me a set. I will take luck any day.

I managed to bust out Smokkee when we were down to 6 players when my A-10 outran his K-J. (I bring that up only because I am sure it will never happen again). But either my luck, my logic, or more likely both failed me a short time later. With a suited A-3, I decided I wanted to see a flop bad enough to call a 2,500 bet (I had about 16,000 at that point). The flop was a rainbow, but I did hit bottom pair. My boy Mungo (I should say Guin, but Mungo makes me think of a St. Bernard for some reason, and so does his avatar, which is actually a penguin. Did I ever mention I smoked a lot of weed in the 80's...and 90's) Hoyed me. The board was showing 3-10-J at that point, and I really didn't think any of those had hit him. His big bet pre-flop made me think he had A-K or A-Q, I don't think he bets that much with anything lower than that, and I think he bets more if he has a pair. Since he is pushing now, I am putting him on K-Q, giving him the OESD. I tell myself that fifth place is still pretty good, and call, pretty sure that I was actually ahead at this point. When the turn brought up a Queen, I knew I was beat. Mungo told me I should fold, but it isn't as if I am really going to be able to battle my way back from one chip, so I had to call. He did have the K-Q, so the only thing that can help me on the river is an Ace or 3, neither of which hits. See, in order for me to win, I have to get all of my chips in when I am behind. This time I was ahead when the chips went in, so really I never stood a chance.

So, IGH in 5th. Which was at least a $52 payday. And which brings my average finish in this tournament to the high teens. And heck, I was able to repay Mungo for doubling me up so many times the last time I was able to make it to the final table. Of course now I think I owe Shane and Smokkee some chips. Damn, I may never win this thing.

Comments:
Great job in the WWdN and thanks for making it out to The Mookie last night.
 
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