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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan:
"You Wish!"
This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror).

It's fun to hate:
The Soccer Moms who insist that they drive gas-guzzling SUV's for the safety of their children despite the fact that they are 6 times more likely to be in a rollover accident than any other vehicle. It's like beating your child unconscious with the butt of your gun so that he will remain on the floor, thus making him less likely to be hit by a random bullet coming through the front window.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
There will be mandatory, passive birth control required to participate in any form of government assistance. If you can't afford to raise your child on your own we are here to help you, but we must first make sure that your reproductive organs are adequately contained. If you don't like that policy all you have to do is support your kids your damn self!
Vote Shadowtwin!


Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.
Your Horoscope:


Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground."

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File".

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy:


Cancer: 6/22-7/22
The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky...

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this)

Libra: 9/23-10/22
The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come."

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know.

Music lost to history:

Aerosmith - Dream On When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976.

Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath.

While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean.

I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me.

That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History.

Music Lost to History Archive


I Can't Believe it's Not Porn!
WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it.

Daily Reading:
BlackChampagne
Magazine Man
Shane Nickerson
Wil Wheaton
Boners
Hoyazo's Poker Blog

My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!



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Shadowtwin.com: More Poker Goodness



Sunday, June 11, 2006
 

More Poker Goodness

Fresh off of my amazing streak last night, I entered a couple of MTTs this morning. One was a 45 person, $1 buy in, the other was an 18 person $1.50 buy in. I didn't play particularly well in either one of them, but I was able to cash in both. The 18 person one I finished in fourth, which was just enough to cover the buy in, and possibly buy a soda if I could get one for about .45 cents. I did a bit better in the 45 person one.

Here I must note that I am generally much better in single table sit and go's than I am in MTTs. There is just something about getting moved from table to table that seems to keep me from getting into any real rhythm. Today was no different, but the distraction of having the 18 player tourney going for the first half of the 45 player one kept me from really paying any attention to who was at the table anyway.

At about the same time as I busted out of the smaller tourney, the larger one went on break. It seems almost sad really, that I am risking a buck for the chance to win as much as $14 and it takes well over an hour. Hell, it seems even worse that I actually only cashed $4, and that was after just under two hours of play, but I do have to learn how to play in an MTT before I dive into one with bigger stakes.

My best starting hand of the day, and what turned out to be my best call of the day, came just after the break. I had aces in the small blind and bet 3x the BB. I got three callers on it, which was better than I could have hoped. Better, that is, until the flop came up with a pair of Queens and a 2. Under the gun pushes all in, and is quickly called by the other two still in the hand. Seems pretty clear that at least one of them has a Queen, that or a pair of 2's, and either way I was fucked. I had about half of my chips in the pot at that point, but it was just so clear that my aces were no good that I had to lay it down. Once everyone was sufficiently all in, we got to see their cards. One guy did have the pocket 2's, and he was the last one to call. The other two hands were A-Q and K-Q, both of which went down to the full house of 2's and Queens. Now, had it been me that made the play with the pocket 2's, the turn would have been a king and the river an Ace, just to make doubly sure that I lost to everyone, but what are you gonna do.

The next hand, I got an A-4 of diamonds on the button. Again I raised, but only to half of my now meager stack. Got two callers. The flop was K-Q-6, all diamonds. I pushed all in and both of them called. They both had me more than covered at this point.. The turn and river were garbage cards, and the other guys just checked to the showdown. I only got to see one of their hands, the other guy mucked. The winner of the side pot had a K-Q, but no matter, I tripled up.

It took an hour and a half to get to the final table, and only the top seven were paid. Three of us had over 10,000 in chips, while three had under 3,000. I took advantage of being one of the big stacks by stealing damn near every pot for the first couple of orbits. I had just taken the chip lead when someone finally called my raise and caught me with a 4-7 offsuit, which was just about the same hand no one had called me on in the last ten minutes. I had to fold to his all in call, so at that point I lost a lot of credibility. I wasn't able to steal much of anything after that because every time I tried someone would call. And when they did call, I never got any help on the flop and generally had to lay them down on the flop or turn.

I did get to bust out the guy in 9th place when I was in the big blind with an A-8 suited. We were at the flop, which had come up 8 high. There was a possibility of a straight, but only if you were in with a 4-7 offsuit. This guy was on the button, so I assumed that wasn't what he was holding. But he was also the short stack, and I had TPTK. Unless he was holding a pair, which I think he pushes in before the flop from the button, especially when he is short stacked, I should win the hand. I call and get to see his A-7 offsuit, so I have to sweat just a bit as I wait for the turn and river to be anything but a 4 or a pair of sevens. My hand did hold out.

Nothing much happened until it was down to five left. Four were hovering around 14,000 chips, while I was right around 10,000. The blinds were 600/1200, so it was just folding and more folding. Then we came to a hand where I was in the big blind with a 7-8 of clubs and everyone was in the pot. Over 6,000 in the pot by the time it gets around to me, I decided to double it up to see how many of them really wanted to be in the hand. Only one called, but that pot was now at almost 10,000. I got one club on the flop, and a gutshot straight draw needing a 9. I decided to make my stand, which probably wasn't the best decision. Hell, who am I trying to kid, it definitely wasn't the best decision. I pushed and he called with a 10-J, pairing his ten. My only hope was the gutshot straight or a runner runner flush. Neither of which happened, so IGH in 5th.

Still, I think I am getting a lot better at the MTT format. I haven't actually won one yet, but I sure am getting to the money a lot (for those who actually consider a buck to be "money" that is). If there was more money on the line, I would like to think that I would have just called my way into that last hand, then folded when I didn't hit a pair on the flop. Of course I can't actually be sure of that until I am in that position, but the fact that I knew that it was the wrong move to make even while I did it makes me think that I probably could have resisted. The difference between 4th and 5th in my position was only a dollar. Had I been in a ten dollar game, that difference would have been ten dollars. I took a huge gamble for a dollar for the slight chance to double up and take a crack at winning the whole thing. In a ten dollar game, I think I would have listened to my gut...I hope.

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