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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan:
"You Wish!"
This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror).

It's fun to hate:
The Soccer Moms who insist that they drive gas-guzzling SUV's for the safety of their children despite the fact that they are 6 times more likely to be in a rollover accident than any other vehicle. It's like beating your child unconscious with the butt of your gun so that he will remain on the floor, thus making him less likely to be hit by a random bullet coming through the front window.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
There will be mandatory, passive birth control required to participate in any form of government assistance. If you can't afford to raise your child on your own we are here to help you, but we must first make sure that your reproductive organs are adequately contained. If you don't like that policy all you have to do is support your kids your damn self!
Vote Shadowtwin!


Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.
Your Horoscope:


Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground."

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File".

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy:


Cancer: 6/22-7/22
The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky...

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this)

Libra: 9/23-10/22
The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come."

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know.

Music lost to history:

Aerosmith - Dream On When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976.

Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath.

While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean.

I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me.

That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History.

Music Lost to History Archive


I Can't Believe it's Not Porn!
WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it.

Daily Reading:
BlackChampagne
Magazine Man
Shane Nickerson
Wil Wheaton
Boners
Hoyazo's Poker Blog

My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!



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Shadowtwin.com: My first real MTT final table



Saturday, June 24, 2006
 

My first real MTT final table

I have been following what I assume to be the natural progression of the on-line poker player for the last couple of months. I have gotten to the point where I can finish in the money in a single table sit and go just by outlasting a few donks and outplaying a couple veterans. Of course the money in a single table sit and go isn't that great unless you are able to finish in first with regularity, which I can't. I can finish in the money probably half the time, and average second place. That means that I am actually making money, just not very much; I am making about a buy-in per ten games played. Certainly not a money making strategy, but it is good practice. I have been using that small profit to enter some of the larger tournaments with the hopes of improving on them as well.

Yesterday, I played in a 20 table sit and go for the third time. This was of the $4 buy-in variety, which is about as much as I am willing to risk in such a large field, at least until my ability improves in that format. I was able to chip up fairly early on when my Jacks turned into trips on the flop and quads on the river. Doubling up on the first level in such a large tournament is huge. This time, instead of passively waiting for premium hands to take down huge pots, I took advantage of the large stack by bullying the table. I still only saw about half of the flops, but I was playing extremely aggressively. I was doing things that I have really never done, like raising pre-flop with a J-9 and putting in a continuation bet on the flop when it came up A-J-x. The aggressiveness was paying off though, and through my first 15 showdowns, I had won 12 of them.

I actually took the lead in the tournament about 45 minutes in and held onto it for at least a half an hour. There were a couple of times where I let the aggressive image override common sense, something that can certainly kill your game; Sure, if you call the short stack's all-in on the river it shows that you mean business, it does not, however, change the fact that you just called an all-in on the river with a queen high. Thankfully, I was able to keep such idiotic calls to a minimum and was in pretty good shape as we were down to less than thirty players:



Since 18 places paid, the play tightened up considerably at this point. No one wanted to go home so close to the money, and I took advantage of that fact by bullying the table. There was one point where I raised every bet for at least two orbits and was only called once or twice (which I eventually folded since my cards were utter crap). The bubble at 19 players lasted a long ass time since the short stack was at over 4,000 chips and no one wanted to play anything that wasn't Aces. Once it was down to 18 players, three more busted out within minutes (I am guessing they just wanted to play something after the fold-fest that had been the last twenty minutes). I was still in good position, but almost went out around 12th when I had to make the hardest decision of my on-line poker career.

I was roughly tied with the guy on my left for the big stack at the table with 22,900 chips apiece. We were in the blinds. It got folded around to me, with As 7d. I put in a 3x the BB raise figuring that I probably had the better hand. He called it, but that didn't mean much since we were both the large stacks. The flop was 4s Ah 2s. I bet 4,000 at it, roughly the pot size, hoping to just end it right there, but he thought about it for a while and then called it -which I am thinking means flush draw-. The turn brought up the 3s, which gives him the flush if he is on the draw I think he is, but it also leaves me with a straight flush draw. I bet another 4,000 at it, and he thought for a bit and eventually called -which I took to mean that he still needed a card for the flush, or thought that he did make a flush, but he was on low cards and worried that I would win with the higher flush. The river was my dream and my nightmare all in one: 5s. I can't dismiss the possibility that this guy is in the hand with an A-6, that would explain why it took him so long to call; the 6 is hardly a kicker. This is where I will admit that I got scared. I only bet 2,000 at it this time, and he was all-in before my mouse button let up. I got up and went to get a soda, this would be a good time to use my previously untouched time bank.

The soda was a Diet Coke. I put some ice cubes in an old thirstbuster cup and filled it up. Of course it fizzed like nobody's business, so I had to wait for five seconds or so to let the fizz die down so that I could finish filling it up. I came back to the computer to see that the time bank had only just activated (my refrigerator is only fifteen feet or so from my computer due to an odd house layout). I went out to check on my fish, who are in the aquarium just outside the office door, then came back and sat down. I stared as the timer ticked down, not willing to call his all-in, yet not capable of pushing the fold button when I was looking at a straight flush. I timed out and folded, and with that I lost more than half of my sizable stack without a showdown.

Mercifully, the guy flipped over his cards: 6s 10s. He did have the higher straight flush. I typed in chat "I had the Ace". He typed back "OMG how could you lay that down?" I typed back "I couldn't hit the button". He typed "LOL". I really wanted to injure him. But do you think I could have got him out of that hand earlier? Within reason of course, I mean I am sure if I pushed pre-flop he would have laid it down, but for all I knew pre-flop, he could have been holding a pair of kings. I am just wondering if I had bet bigger when I hit top pair on the flop if I could have got him to lay down his flush draw. I hadn't been at the table with this guy for more than a couple of minutes so I don't really know anything about his play style, but I am guessing I would have had to put in a pretty huge bet on the flop to get him to fold there -and god knows there is no way he is folding on the turn with a made flush and gutshot straight flush draw.

Bleh.

I managed to get to the final table in 7th position, but ended up busting in 9th. About three hands in, again from the small blind, I hit top and bottom pair on the flop, so I pushed only to see the other guy flip over top and middle pair. So, I go home:




It was a hard fought three hours, and I was able to do a lot of things that I have never been able to before -most notably, fold a straight flush. I hope the experience will translate into more final tables in large MTTs, but only time will tell.

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