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Friday, June 09, 2006

Technology Sucks

After years of screwing around with computers without ever running into any defective hardware or devices, I have really taken it on the chin of late. I detailed the problem I had with the eMachine that I recently bought, but I am happy to say that I am merrily typing away on that machine right now. So it did eventually get fixed, so no harm no foul.

Unfortunately for me, there have been other problems with computer related devices. A printer for instance. I bought a new printer shortly after I quit my job knowing that my antiquated cannon bubble jet wasn't going to be able to print out anything approaching an impressive resume. I bought a Lexmark P4350, which worked fabulously for all of about five minutes. There are far too many motors or bands or something in that machine that relate to the paper feeding. One of those little bugger isn't working right, so I have to feed the paper manually, one sheet at a time. I can send it in for repairs, however since I never took the time to register it, and of course don't know where the receipt is, they are considering it a repair on out-of-warranty merchandise, which will likely cost a hell of a lot more than the machine itself did. Stupid broken printer.

Then there is the RAM that I bought to put into my shiny new computer. I put it into the slots, plugged the computer back in -which threw an amazing spark as the cord reached the case- and hit the power button. Of course the computer wouldn't make it past the POST with the new RAM in it. Using the tried and true pull one, then the other technique, I was able to determine that only one of the sticks was bad, so at least one of them still works. Which is quite fortunate, since I have no way to get my money back on that either. I really should keep better track of my receipts. This one was over a month old though, since the RAM just sat uselessly on a shelf while I waited to get the new computer back. I don't know what your house looks like, but around here something as small as a receipt, given a month to roam the landscape, is deep into the endangered species list, more likely already extinct.

So today I had to justify buying a new printer. That is actually a pretty easy thing to do. All you have to do is go check the prices to replace your current ink cartridges to see that it really isn't all that much more to buy a new printer anyway. The brand name this time is Brother. I chose this one specifically because I had an old Brother electric typewriter (one which I got at a huge discount for buying the floor model after it was discontinued at Staples) which worked flawlessly for several years before it was eventually cobwebbed when I got my first computer. My boss happened to have one of the same model though, and it was still plugging away eleven years after he bought his, so it does have some staying power.

It is kind of like a crap shoot when you try to hook anything up to Windows. Xp certainly has a better compatibility list than any previous version, but the so called plug-and-play devices are still more of a plug-and-pray situation. The new printer was the latter, of course. Not only did Windows not have a driver for the printer, the printer's own software would not install in Windows. It would just tool along for a while and all of a sudden stop. The hourglass went away, my cursor was still active, the task manager said the program was running, but there was just nada. The printer showed up in the printers section of the control panel but was listed as not having a driver, yet when I put the driver disk into the cd tray and told it to load the driver it just sat there staring at me...Mocking me.

So I searched out the drivers on the internet. Downloaded that. Uninstalled all of the previous printer drivers, rebooted the system just for good measure, and tried again. Nothing. I went to the manufacturer's website to search out any known problems and that was where I ran into the first big problem: they don't even have this model number listed on their website. I mean I know technology has a pretty short lifespan, but could it really have been so quick that the printer had become obsolete in the time it took me to drive home? I guess so, since I tried to register it by serial number while I was at the website and it didn't like the serial number. I tried removing some of the letters to try to make it look like the models that they did have listed, but wasn't ever able to get it registered.

I was able to get it to work though. It turns out that going that extra mile and actually connecting the computer to the printer can have a great impact on your ability to get the correct drivers loaded. In fact, once I actually plugged the god damn thing into the computer the cd started to autorun and went through the installation with very little interaction from the flesh bag at the keyboard. It works just great!

Unfortunately the registration problem is very real, and with the luck I am currently having with any device that has a microchip, I am sure that I am going to have to send this thing in for service sometime within the next couple of hours. I wasn't sure if this was a tech support or customer service issue, so I e-mailed both of them. Hopefully one of them will be able to tell me what the problem with the serial number is, and why the model isn't even listed on their website. Unless, of course, this is a one of a kind prototype that was stolen from some technology expo, then sold to Wal-Mart through the black market -I find that answer a bit unlikely.

posted by Donnie (aka Shadowtwin) # 12:33 PM

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ShadowTwin Home Site Links: Arthur Witles Who I am - Site info Music Lost to History Archive Horoscope Archive Original Poetry Pre-Blogger Archives Stuff I Made Vacation Photos My coming of age story. Programs I use for the site Email me Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan: "You Wish!" This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror). 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Vote Shadowtwin! ~~Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.~~ Your Horoscope: Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21 A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground." Capricorn: 12/22-1/19 The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway. Aquarius: 1/20-2/18 The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused. Pisces: 2/19-3/20 Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone. Aries: 3/21-4/19 Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File". Taurus: 4/20-5/20 Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well. Gemini: 5/21-6/21 You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy: Cancer: 6/22-7/22 The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts. Leo: 7/23-8/22 The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky... Virgo: 8/23-9/22 The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this) Libra: 9/23-10/22 The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come." Scorpio: 10/23-11/21 They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know. Music lost to history: *Aerosmith - Dream On* When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976. Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath. While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean. I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me. That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History. Music Lost to History Archive I Can't Believe it's Not Porn! WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it. Daily Reading: BlackChampagne Magazine Man Shane Nickerson Wil Wheaton Boners Hoyazo's Poker Blog My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!
	Shadowtwin.com: Technology Sucks Friday, June 09, 2006 Technology Sucks After years of screwing around with computers without ever running into any defective hardware or devices, I have really taken it on the chin of late. I detailed the problem I had with the eMachine that I recently bought, but I am happy to say that I am merrily typing away on that machine right now. So it did eventually get fixed, so no harm no foul. Unfortunately for me, there have been other problems with computer related devices. A printer for instance. I bought a new printer shortly after I quit my job knowing that my antiquated cannon bubble jet wasn't going to be able to print out anything approaching an impressive resume. I bought a Lexmark P4350, which worked fabulously for all of about five minutes. There are far too many motors or bands or something in that machine that relate to the paper feeding. One of those little bugger isn't working right, so I have to feed the paper manually, one sheet at a time. I can send it in for repairs, however since I never took the time to register it, and of course don't know where the receipt is, they are considering it a repair on out-of-warranty merchandise, which will likely cost a hell of a lot more than the machine itself did. Stupid broken printer. Then there is the RAM that I bought to put into my shiny new computer. I put it into the slots, plugged the computer back in -which threw an amazing spark as the cord reached the case- and hit the power button. Of course the computer wouldn't make it past the POST with the new RAM in it. Using the tried and true pull one, then the other technique, I was able to determine that only one of the sticks was bad, so at least one of them still works. Which is quite fortunate, since I have no way to get my money back on that either. I really should keep better track of my receipts. This one was over a month old though, since the RAM just sat uselessly on a shelf while I waited to get the new computer back. I don't know what your house looks like, but around here something as small as a receipt, given a month to roam the landscape, is deep into the endangered species list, more likely already extinct. So today I had to justify buying a new printer. That is actually a pretty easy thing to do. All you have to do is go check the prices to replace your current ink cartridges to see that it really isn't all that much more to buy a new printer anyway. The brand name this time is Brother. I chose this one specifically because I had an old Brother electric typewriter (one which I got at a huge discount for buying the floor model after it was discontinued at Staples) which worked flawlessly for several years before it was eventually cobwebbed when I got my first computer. My boss happened to have one of the same model though, and it was still plugging away eleven years after he bought his, so it does have some staying power. It is kind of like a crap shoot when you try to hook anything up to Windows. Xp certainly has a better compatibility list than any previous version, but the so called plug-and-play devices are still more of a plug-and-pray situation. The new printer was the latter, of course. Not only did Windows not have a driver for the printer, the printer's own software would not install in Windows. It would just tool along for a while and all of a sudden stop. The hourglass went away, my cursor was still active, the task manager said the program was running, but there was just nada. The printer showed up in the printers section of the control panel but was listed as not having a driver, yet when I put the driver disk into the cd tray and told it to load the driver it just sat there staring at me...Mocking me. So I searched out the drivers on the internet. Downloaded that. Uninstalled all of the previous printer drivers, rebooted the system just for good measure, and tried again. Nothing. I went to the manufacturer's website to search out any known problems and that was where I ran into the first big problem: they don't even have this model number listed on their website. I mean I know technology has a pretty short lifespan, but could it really have been so quick that the printer had become obsolete in the time it took me to drive home? I guess so, since I tried to register it by serial number while I was at the website and it didn't like the serial number. I tried removing some of the letters to try to make it look like the models that they did have listed, but wasn't ever able to get it registered. I was able to get it to work though. It turns out that going that extra mile and actually connecting the computer to the printer can have a great impact on your ability to get the correct drivers loaded. In fact, once I actually plugged the god damn thing into the computer the cd started to autorun and went through the installation with very little interaction from the flesh bag at the keyboard. It works just great! Unfortunately the registration problem is very real, and with the luck I am currently having with any device that has a microchip, I am sure that I am going to have to send this thing in for service sometime within the next couple of hours. I wasn't sure if this was a tech support or customer service issue, so I e-mailed both of them. Hopefully one of them will be able to tell me what the problem with the serial number is, and why the model isn't even listed on their website. Unless, of course, this is a one of a kind prototype that was stolen from some technology expo, then sold to Wal-Mart through the black market -I find that answer a bit unlikely. posted by Donnie (aka Shadowtwin) # 12:33 PM Comments: Post a Comment << Home Archives June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 October 2007 December 2007 February 2008 August 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 All site content is © Donnie Burgess 2006-2009 Site design was stolen directly from Blackchampagne.

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