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Latest Humorous T-shirt Slogan:
"You Wish!"
This one has to be taken in context to be appreciated. The girl wearing this belly shirt was maybe 5'0" tall, with a muffin top going on, despite the fact that she was clearly in her third trimester of pregnancy. In addition she was wearing a thong that came up past her low-rise jeans and pushed her muffin top down over the edge to really emphasize the roll. I'm not in perfect shape so I don't expect that others should be, but when you are wearing that shirt, along with the rest of the outfit, you open yourself to scrutiny (and perhaps random looks of horror).

It's fun to hate:
The Soccer Moms who insist that they drive gas-guzzling SUV's for the safety of their children despite the fact that they are 6 times more likely to be in a rollover accident than any other vehicle. It's like beating your child unconscious with the butt of your gun so that he will remain on the floor, thus making him less likely to be hit by a random bullet coming through the front window.

When Shadowtwin reigns supreme:
There will be mandatory, passive birth control required to participate in any form of government assistance. If you can't afford to raise your child on your own we are here to help you, but we must first make sure that your reproductive organs are adequately contained. If you don't like that policy all you have to do is support your kids your damn self!
Vote Shadowtwin!


Wildly inaccurate, yet shockingly precise, predictions based completely on happenstance and arbitrary universal fluctuations.
Your Horoscope:


Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
A typographical error in your Church's newsletter will lead to you performing sex acts on dozens of anonymous strangers in your pursuit of "oral highground."

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars did recently tell your wife to "listen to her heart" regarding whether or not she should leave you. The stars did not intend for you to listen to her heart. But once you used that bonesaw on her sternum (not trusting the stethoscope which just responded with a cryptic thumping sound), we're pretty sure she made up her mind anyway.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
The stars would like to apologize for stating in their last prophecy, "Be wary of the stranger you meet at beach this weekend. The stars aren't sure why, but they don't trust him." Through a cosmic hiccup, that information was supposed to be released this month. The August prophecy should have read, "A dark and handsome stranger will approach you on the beach, profess his love for you, and sweep you away for a jetset marriage. After which you will lead a long, happy, prosperous, healthy life as the Queen of a small island nation." We apologize for any inconvenience this error may have caused.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Your new stopwatch will allow you to time how long you can hold your breath underwater down to the thousandth of a second. Unfortunately, poor planning will mean that you are not able to actually share the information with anyone.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
Your innovative new device for beauticians to use while giving pedicures can be wildly successful and make you quite wealthy IF you change the name. Trust us, no one is going to buy a "Ped-O-File".

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Your Mother always told you to wear clean underwear just in case there was an accident and paramadics had to see them. But as you board that plane today, the stars want you to know that you needn't worry about it. The debris field will be more than 8 square miles, making it impossible to find most human remains. Not to mention that the ensuing fire burned so hot that it disintegrated not only all fabric, but most of the thin metals aboard as well.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
You just had to get that genital piercing, didn't you? The stars tried to warn you not to, but you went ahead and did it anyway... Now all your worst fears will come to bear when, at a campground this weekend, you run afoul of this guy:


Cancer: 6/22-7/22
The less traveled by areas of the Grand Canyon's north rim offer some of the most breathtaking views of this natural wonder. You will soon find out they also include some of the worst footings and none of the handrails. They do, however, provide equally awe-inspiring, terminal velocity impacts.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
The stars heard your pleas, begging for someone who you could share your love with and embrace for the rest of your life. If you are still single, throw your arms around the closest person to you at 3:44pm GMT on Dcember 9th -That'll be the one. Trust us, you won't have time to be picky...

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
The stars have piled up most of your things on the front porch. You can stay at a friend's house, but you aren't coming back home until you admit what you did and apologize. The stars' Mother was right about you... (you must have really pissed them off; the stars were in tears while they told me this)

Libra: 9/23-10/22
The stars have been doing a little thinking and a lot of math. The population of planet earth is roughly 6,796,590,704. That means that roughly 566,382,558 people share each astrological sign. About 18,620,796 have the same birthday. Based on average life expectancy as many as 248,277 people were born on the same day, in the same year, for every zodiac sign. How can one statement possibly predict the future of all of them? Ehh, fuck it. "A full moon while Venus is rising is an omen of good things to come."

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
They say you never know how you are going to react to a crisis. After a home invasion this weekend you will: You will scream, "Do whatever you want to my wife, but leave me alone!" You will then create a distraction by throwing your newborn at the assailant as you dive through the window to safety. Now you know.

Music lost to history:

Aerosmith - Dream On When I started doing these, I could never have imagined that I would be putting an Aerosmith song here. Since I was born in 1974, this song is well before my generation. It was recorded in 1972 and released in 1983 on Aerosmith's Self-Titled Album, but to read the information on it at Wikipedia most of us would become familiar with it from a re-release in 1976.

Like most of the music being released in the late 60's/early 70's that was pushing the rock-n-roll envelope, Dream On relies heavily on solid composition and and melody. Before the era of the modern effects processor, these bands had no distortion to hide behind (or very little), and synthesized instruments hadn't yet made their way into music. In that way the music always sounds more raw to us today because, quite simply, it was. While it seems laughable to think about today, music like this was so far removed from the bubble-gum pop of the 50's that it still wasn't accepted into the mainstream. As the baby-boomers became the target demographic, the rock-n-roll movement really started to pick up speed, with bands like Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith clearing the path for the much darker and heavier bands like Black Sabbath.

While I (and most of my generation) are probably far more familiar with the Aerosmith of the late 80's and early 90's, the reason this song makes it onto my MLtH page comes down to one thing: Age. Not necessarily the age of the song; In fact, as I sat down to do the research for this today, I had no idea when it was released, but would have guessed (closely) the mid 70's. Tyler was born March 26, 1948, meaning that this song was written when he was only 24 years old. I'm not sure why, but I have always thought this song was pretty amazing given his age at composition. I suppose it is human nature to wax poetic about the days of yore and the imminent passage of time, but the melody sets a mood that makes you feel it right along with him. As the song nears the end and his lyrics become more more frenzied, you can almost feel the pain (longing?) in his voice. Listen to it with headphones and no distraction sometime, you'll see what I mean.

I wrote a short bit some time ago about Kelly Sweet's cover of this song (see the video on Youtube). While I have since gotten over the initial hatred I felt towards the cover of the song, I still just can't like it. The words are there; she hits the notes; but I just can't hear it in her voice. As if there is somthing very personal about the song and Tyler's deliverance of the lyrics that just can't be duplicated. At least to me.

That said, I have heard Aerosmith doing the song with an orchestra, and it also seems to lack the passion of the original. So perhaps the thing that I like so much about it is the under-produced, raw sound of it, or it may be that I am still hearing it through the ears of that impressionable youth that heard if for the first time in a dusty old Van with my Uncle Art. Either way, it seems it is Lost to History.

Music Lost to History Archive


I Can't Believe it's Not Porn!
WhorePresents.comYep, it's not porn. It's not a site with gifts for sale either, which is probably a good thing since I can't imagine that any woman would be at all flattered to get a gift -no matter how nice- in a box that says "Whore Presents.com" on it.

Daily Reading:
BlackChampagne
Magazine Man
Shane Nickerson
Wil Wheaton
Boners
Hoyazo's Poker Blog

My reading list changes from time to time, and there are many sites that I visit that are not on the list. They are listed in the order that I visit them, enjoy!



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Shadowtwin.com: No guarantee in the FTP guaranteed tournaments



Saturday, July 01, 2006
 

No guarantee in the FTP guaranteed tournaments

After my recent (relative) success in the FTP 17k, I figured I would try to get into it again on Friday. The tokens are easy to come by, so it is really no big investment, and it is pretty good MTT practice. This time, I decided to do a bit of preparation before the event. I used another of the tokens to buy into a 6,000 guaranteed double stack tournament. I figured it would get into bigger stacks a lot faster that way so I could try to get used to having to actively make/call bets in excess of 1000 chips when my cards were far from premium. Of course the stack size relative to the blinds in the double stack is way different, but the betting doesn't quite go like it would in a normal MTT either. I came out of it just out of the money, but I was hanging around with a 20,000 stack for a while, and was getting used to making calls of 2,500 when I had no better than second pair and a decent kicker, but often the hands would improve, which is why I need to be able to make such calls.

I started out the 20K in the big blind, which I absolutely love. My cards were absolute crap (2-3o) so I got out of it, and folded the small blind as well. For some reason if I start out on the button, by the time the blinds get around to me, I am feeling a sense of urgency that I really shouldn't be so early in the tournament. Why the same doesn't happen to me when I start out in the blinds, I gots no idea, I guess I am just weird like that.

I got aces about 15 hands into the event, but only raised 2x since there was only 1 guy and the blinds ahead of me and Aces don't do you much good if no one calls them. The flop was a Jack high rainbow that I got someone to call a bet of 250 with, but when the turn gave me the set, I couldn't get him to call even a measly 120 chips. I then went on to fold every single hand for the next half hour at least. I was just that card dead. I had only been in one hand in the whole tournament, so I didn't think I had much of an image to try to be bluffing with, I just needed to wait for my spots.

I managed to pick up a couple of sets of blinds before the break, but not much more. I guess if you are going to be card dead in one of these things it is better for it to happen in the beginning, as long as you are able to fight through it. Again, I had to feel pretty good about my position, considering what I had been working with so far. I was going to have to start making some moves to give myself a chance to get to the money, but there is a fine line between "making moves" and outright donkish play -alas, I don't know where that line is drawn- . I charged out after the break and stole a couple more pots, managed to make a good lay down (which feels a lot better to me than winning with the nuts - at least the lay down was something I had personal control over, so when I make the right decision, it does feel good), which hurt me for chips, but kept me alive.


Here I was able to teach an elephant why you should never bet pre-flop and check on the turn. I like to see free cards when I have an underpair, had he bet on the flop it would have been a tough decision for me to call this one, since he had raised preflop, I was putting him on high cards: A-K or A-Q. I took the check on the flop to mean that either he made his set or it missed him completely. Not to mention that I was a bit worried about the possible flush. All of which was moot when he gifted me the boat by not putting in a continuation bet:




Here I am trying to sucker strongbadd. He has raised on almost every hand for the last couple of orbits and no one has called him. I got some decent cards here, limped in, and was hoping he would try that crap again:



Alas, it was not to be. He folded preflop this time, so the blinds got to see the flop for cheap. I hate it when such carefully orchestrated baiting doesn't work out. Oh well. The big blind checked on the flop, next guy bet 200, and I raised 500. It's a pretty big pot when the turn gives me top and third pair, the straight is a possibility, but I don't think this guy calls off that much of his small stack on a straight draw. I am pretty sure he has a King, but figure if he had an ace kicker he would have pushed on the flop. Time to put my read to the test:



Just as an aside, the reason I only bet 1,000 instead of pulling him all in is because of my perception when I am on the reverse side of this hand. If I am in his shoes and see the other guy put in a big bet that is just less than either my stack or his own, I think it looks like a bluff bet to scare me out of it. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but either way, I like to feel like the decision to put my tournament life on the line was mine, not the big bully's. So with the bet of 1,000, he can tell his friends that he called me all in, and it would be technically accurate, since he did push his last 24 chips and I had to call them. Just one of my things. It eventually looked like this:



I am not quite sure how he could have made that call when I pushed big when the Ace hit the board. Did he really think I was going to fold when he raised his last 24 chips? Did he really think that he was ahead since I only limped into the pot preflop? I don't know, but I was sure happy to see that my read was right. I didn't really expect to see the jack, and on Pokerstars he would have surely sucked it out, but at least I was right about his high card and weak kicker.

A while later, I found myself in a fight that I really didn't want to be in with an A-Qo. The preflop betting got out of hand, and the pot was huge. The button pushes, I have TPTK, but I am really afraid that I am behind to either a flopped set or two pair. 4,500 in the pot, I have 6,000 in chips, and it will cost me 1,100 to see if TPTK is good, and it is:



And I actually got my chips in ahead and managed to hold on to the lead to pull down quite the stack:



Not in bad position going into the second break, but certainly a long way to go. I had been chatting with Guin for about the last half hour, and had been pretty much keeping pace with him in chips, until he added to his stack, while I subtracted from mine just before the break. I opined to him that I was in a pretty good position to go out of this one on the bubble, since the top 117 places would pay. God I hoped I didn't, I would rather lose early than bubble. Anyway, I went to see who was still in it, and found that Surflexus was still in it, and in really good position. WillyWonka was still in it too, although I never found the time to visit his table before he busted. Not that I was destined to last much longer either.

I called a fairly large bet from one of the shorter stacks preflop, and just couldn't lay it down when he pushed his last 1,500 or whatever to the center on the flop. You would think that since I was on a two outer I would be golden, but no such luck:



Sadly, I could feel what little air was left in my bubble starting to seep...It wanted out. I still had 7k in chips, and should have been able to do something with them, but the cards just weren't falling in my favor. I got pocket 8s a short while after and did a standard 3x raise, got two callers. When the flop came up A-K-Q, I knew that one or the other of the guys that just called 1,500 to see the flop absolutely had to have one of them. I folded that, and got to watch as the guy that had the ace lost to the guy who had the king when he got the set on the river. Ouch.

I told myself that I wasn't going to bitch about the hand that took me out, but some circumstances came up that made it absolutely necessary. I told Guin after I busted that it was on a two-outer, but when I think back on it, it was actually a five-outer, so I guess I shouldn't really be bitching. Anyway, there were 124 left in the tourney, top 117 pay. I had contented myself to fold my way into the money and then go out on a hammer or something. Unfortunately, I found myself in the big blind and no one raised it. I checked it with a 3-6o, fully expecting to immediately fold. But the flop came 3-Q-6. So I had to ask myself, what would Mungo do? Come on, I flopped two pair, this one was mine, right? All-in. He flips up Q-x (don't remember the other card, but it certainly wasn't a 3 or a 6), so I just need to miss five cards to take this thing down. Rivered a fucking Queen and IGH.

Now, the same guy gets moved over to Guin's table, and after some time (since Guin was doing way better than me) he ended up in a situation with him. Guin pushes with 5's into a flop of 4-4-x, dude calls it with A-K. And the river is? I forget if it was the ace or the king, but it was one of them. This guy was just having some sick luck tonight. Hell, if I could hit those 5 or 6 outers on the river every damn time, I might make it a lot further in these things myself.

I stayed on to watch and root for Surflexus, as he fought his way through the obligatory card death to bust out in 11th. I even played another token game with Guin, but for the way I played, I would have been better off to just transfer a few bucks to that lucky son of a bitch who busted out Guin and Myself.

It seems hard to rationalize this, but I played way better in this tournament than I did in the last one. While I finished 54th, and well into the money, in the last one, I played my hands way better in this one, and wasn't afraid to make the calls that I needed to (well most of them). I hate to use the bad luck excuse, but when there is one guy that busts me out when I am way ahead (a 75% favorite on the flop) then goes on to bust out Guin when he is way ahead (also over 70% favorite on the flop), I do start to believe a bit in that particular superstition. I hope I don't have to get tired of saying that I am going to make that call as a 75% favorite every damn time (I honestly thought I was a bigger favorite, I thought the other guy likely just had two high cards). One of these damn times, I am going to hold up the 75% part of it when it actually matters -provided the 25% doesn't suck me out of my bankroll first.

Comments:
Great recap of a fun tournament.

Now if we could just work on your in the money shortstack play you would be totally solid. Harrington volume 2 should be at the top of your reading list.
 
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